english jokes

1、笑話TheMeanMansParty吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì)吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì)Thenotiouscheapskatefinallydecidedtohaveaparty.Explainingtoafriendhowtofindhisapartmenthesaid“Comeuptothefifthfloringthedobellwithyourelbow.Whenthedoopenpushwithyourfoot.““Whyusemyelbowfoot“

2、“Wellgosh“wasthereply“Yourenotcomingemptyhedareyou“一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門(mén)鈴。門(mén)開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門(mén)推開(kāi)?！薄盀槭裁次乙梦业闹夂湍_呢？”“天哪！”吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧？”那就更糟了那就更糟了MuchWseMuchWsePoliceman:Whydidntyoushoutfhelpwhen

3、youwererobbedofyourwatchMan:IfIhadopenedmymouththeydhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.Thatwouldbemuchwse.中文：警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。TwoLinesInHeavenEverybodyonearthdiesgoestoheaven.Godcomessays“Iwantthe

4、mentomaketwolines.Onelinefthementhatdominatedtheirwomenonearththeotherlinefthementhatwerewhippedbytheirwomen.AlsoIwantallthewomentogowithStPeter.“Saiddonetherearetwolines.Thelineofthementhatwerewhippedwas100mileslongthel

5、ineofmenthatdominatedwomentherewasonlyoneman.Godgotmadsaid.“Youmenshouldbeashamedofyourselves.“哦，真神奇，”女士說(shuō)?！澳愀邏?？”“二十六?！盌idYouKnowHimAtadinnerpartyinthehomeoffriendsourhostmentionedhishighschoolalmamater.Oneoftheguestsaske

6、dhimifhehadbeenastudentthereatthesametimeasaparticularviceprincipal.“Isurewas!“answeredthehost.“HesthebiggestjerkIveevermet.Didyouknowhimtoo““Stof“repliedtheguest.“MymothermarriedhimlastSaturday.“你認(rèn)識(shí)他嗎？在朋友家的一次宴會(huì)上，主人提起一位高

7、中時(shí)的校友。一位客人問(wèn)他讀書(shū)期間，某位副校長(zhǎng)是否也在職?！爱?dāng)然了，”主人答道?！八俏乙?jiàn)過(guò)的最大的混蛋。你也認(rèn)識(shí)他嗎？”“有點(diǎn)認(rèn)識(shí)，”客人回答?！拔覌寢屔现芰藿o了他?！盬eatherPredictAfilmcrewwasonlocationdeepinthedesert.OnedayanoldIndianwentuptothedirectsaid“Tomrowrain.“Thenextdayitrained.Aweeklaterthe

8、Indianwentuptothedirectsaid“Tomrowstm.“Thenextdaytherewasahailstm.“ThisIndianisincredible“saidthedirect.HetoldhissecretarytohiretheIndiantopredicttheweather.HoweverafterseveralsuccessfulpredictionstheoldIndiandidntshowup